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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2020 10:46:17 GMT
SEX AFTER DEATH
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
...
"Marion...Marion..."
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No...I'm a rabbit in Tipperary!"
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Post by antonio on Apr 3, 2020 14:59:44 GMT
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Post by electronumpty on Mar 4, 2021 11:56:13 GMT
My vinyl life 😕  |
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Post by alit on May 12, 2021 16:09:46 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2021 8:11:54 GMT
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Jun 3, 2021 8:53:33 GMT
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Post by antonio on Jun 3, 2021 23:31:56 GMT
I'm giving you the red card for that one Cagey
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2021 7:59:10 GMT
🤣
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2021 15:32:27 GMT
Do not eat aluminium, or you’ll sheet metal.
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Jun 4, 2021 16:51:30 GMT
“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” – Tim Vine
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Post by antonio on Jun 5, 2021 0:37:50 GMT
Tim Vine always makes me smile, so bloody stupid you have to, but he does come out with a few gems
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Jun 5, 2021 7:13:51 GMT
Tim Vine always makes me smile, so bloody stupid you have to, but he does come out with a few gems He's class. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 10:42:09 GMT
When I was a kid, I swallowed all the pieces from Scrabble.
I went to the doctor and he told me that my next poo could spell disaster.
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Jun 5, 2021 10:45:03 GMT
When I was a kid, I swallowed all the pieces from Scrabble. I went to the doctor and he told me that my next poo could spell disaster. Ha! I like that one |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 10:54:14 GMT
I saw a one armed man shopping at a second hand store, I told him that he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for in there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 10:56:38 GMT
My grandmother is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 10:59:23 GMT
A man has been submitted to hospital after swallowing six plastic horses.
Doctors described his condition as stable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 11:00:02 GMT
My wife has started getting in shape by doing lunges.
It is a big step forward for her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2021 11:00:29 GMT
I'm giving you the red card for that one Cagey Have I done enough to be banned yet? |
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Post by antonio on Jun 6, 2021 4:35:12 GMT
Those last few weren't so bad, you are free to continue to keep me smiling  |
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Post by sq225917 on Sept 11, 2021 21:29:49 GMT
I was reading Sly Stallone's Twitter today, he's making a film about famous composers, he said he'll play Vivaldi, Jean Claude Van Damme said I'll play Mozart, Jason Statham said I'll play Beethoven and Schwarzenegger said....
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Sept 11, 2021 22:29:45 GMT
I was reading Sly Stallone's Twitter today, he's making a film about famous composers, he said he'll play Vivaldi, Jean Claude Van Damme said I'll play Mozart, Jason Statham said I'll play Beethoven and Schwarzenegger said.... I'll be Bach? 🤣🤣🤣 |
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Post by sq225917 on Sept 11, 2021 23:03:47 GMT
😅
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Post by electronumpty on Sept 12, 2021 19:54:58 GMT
🤐  |
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Post by lurch on Sept 23, 2021 19:07:26 GMT
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optical
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Post by optical on Sept 23, 2021 19:19:11 GMT
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Post by alit on Sept 23, 2021 19:22:24 GMT
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Post by lurch on Sept 23, 2021 19:39:46 GMT
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Bigman80
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Post by Bigman80 on Sept 23, 2021 20:57:36 GMT
🤣
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Post by stevew on Oct 20, 2021 12:10:55 GMT
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