Liggin, stalking , starfucking...your starstruck moments.
Aug 28, 2020 23:08:27 GMT
Bigman80 and gninnam like this
Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2020 23:08:27 GMT
So.
The Siouxsie kick. 1978.
.
There I was. The F Club. Chapeltown Leeds.
A Sh#t club in a Sh#t town.
It's where the west Indians hold the biggest black carnival in the world and in 1978 it was one rough place .
Outside this concrete prefab hole about the size of a school classroom we stood in a skinny hunched over punky line while the National Front shoved leaflets into our hands and took the piss out of our winkle pickers and our bandy legs. There were no fat punks.Not allowed.
The door opens and we file past a ticket office into a room about 20 feet wide by 30 long. A stage 4 feet high and as large as a parking space.
It's a shithole .
Now its important to the story to point out that a few weeks ago I succeeded In having a romantic 20 minutes in a tour van with the female bassist in a chart topping group. I was so good thatafterwards she gave me the Damned badge off her leather jacket. I won't name any names but if you said The Adverts I couldn't deny it. You know , the one that Gaye Advert played bass in.
I'd Also pulled a blond girl in another band called Art Attacks a week earlier . So naturally I'm the man aren't I ?
The Male punkette shagging groupie king !
But tonight the ultimate punk holy grail was going to be here..ten feet away.
The one bird that every punk in the world was in love with.
How could Siouxsie Sioux Possibly resist a 6 ft 2 Yorkshire accented Engineering apprentice with home made black skin tight Jean's , White Joe Strummer beetle crushers , electric blue fucked up mohair jumper hanging down to the knees , and black lensed John Lennon gigs ?
I was in me prime , and in love and ready for anything !
The light goes out and the band comes out from behind a blind. But there's not only the band. There's four skinhead C#nts aswell who are obviously going to accompany them , like it or not.
Siouxsie is looking dead scared but gets on with it like a trooper. Two song in and these wankers are standing either side of her and start smacking the stage ceiling with some sort of straps . Like leather belts. The plaster starts falling on the stage and Siouxsie is getting well and truly molested.
Time for the top Yorkshire Shagger to make his move ! !
My reasoning is a bit medieval. I reckon if me and my three mates can boot these twats off the stage then the fair damsel would be obliged to show her gratitude with if not a full blown romance and eventual marriage at least a good snog and a bit of titting up !
So we push to the stage.
I'm in the middle . Right in front of the object of my desire . The woman I'd filled miles and miles of Andrex over.
The holy grail of punk conquest.
Cant fucking fail can I ?
I'm top shagger....proven !
So I see Jeff starting up on my left and I do one of those jump like you do in the baths . Up on your straight arms then a leg up.
I look up... "I'm going to save thee ,fair punk goddess and you're going to bloody pay for it with your rude bits !"
She sees me....somehow though it seems there's some confusion concerning my intentions.
A definite mix up in communication .
For some reason she must see me as something other Than her knight in shining armour , cos the bitch jumps up and with a perfectly executed scissor kick she boots me right under the bastard chin !
I'm fucked !
On me back !
My mates drag me out for my protection and I've got blood all over myself and the worlds gone all fuzzy edged and my legs are obeying someone else's instructions.
That's it.
The end of a dream.
I never met her again after that...
.
I'd still shag her though. 🙂
The Siouxsie kick. 1978.
.
There I was. The F Club. Chapeltown Leeds.
A Sh#t club in a Sh#t town.
It's where the west Indians hold the biggest black carnival in the world and in 1978 it was one rough place .
Outside this concrete prefab hole about the size of a school classroom we stood in a skinny hunched over punky line while the National Front shoved leaflets into our hands and took the piss out of our winkle pickers and our bandy legs. There were no fat punks.Not allowed.
The door opens and we file past a ticket office into a room about 20 feet wide by 30 long. A stage 4 feet high and as large as a parking space.
It's a shithole .
Now its important to the story to point out that a few weeks ago I succeeded In having a romantic 20 minutes in a tour van with the female bassist in a chart topping group. I was so good thatafterwards she gave me the Damned badge off her leather jacket. I won't name any names but if you said The Adverts I couldn't deny it. You know , the one that Gaye Advert played bass in.
I'd Also pulled a blond girl in another band called Art Attacks a week earlier . So naturally I'm the man aren't I ?
The Male punkette shagging groupie king !
But tonight the ultimate punk holy grail was going to be here..ten feet away.
The one bird that every punk in the world was in love with.
How could Siouxsie Sioux Possibly resist a 6 ft 2 Yorkshire accented Engineering apprentice with home made black skin tight Jean's , White Joe Strummer beetle crushers , electric blue fucked up mohair jumper hanging down to the knees , and black lensed John Lennon gigs ?
I was in me prime , and in love and ready for anything !
The light goes out and the band comes out from behind a blind. But there's not only the band. There's four skinhead C#nts aswell who are obviously going to accompany them , like it or not.
Siouxsie is looking dead scared but gets on with it like a trooper. Two song in and these wankers are standing either side of her and start smacking the stage ceiling with some sort of straps . Like leather belts. The plaster starts falling on the stage and Siouxsie is getting well and truly molested.
Time for the top Yorkshire Shagger to make his move ! !
My reasoning is a bit medieval. I reckon if me and my three mates can boot these twats off the stage then the fair damsel would be obliged to show her gratitude with if not a full blown romance and eventual marriage at least a good snog and a bit of titting up !
So we push to the stage.
I'm in the middle . Right in front of the object of my desire . The woman I'd filled miles and miles of Andrex over.
The holy grail of punk conquest.
Cant fucking fail can I ?
I'm top shagger....proven !
So I see Jeff starting up on my left and I do one of those jump like you do in the baths . Up on your straight arms then a leg up.
I look up... "I'm going to save thee ,fair punk goddess and you're going to bloody pay for it with your rude bits !"
She sees me....somehow though it seems there's some confusion concerning my intentions.
A definite mix up in communication .
For some reason she must see me as something other Than her knight in shining armour , cos the bitch jumps up and with a perfectly executed scissor kick she boots me right under the bastard chin !
I'm fucked !
On me back !
My mates drag me out for my protection and I've got blood all over myself and the worlds gone all fuzzy edged and my legs are obeying someone else's instructions.
That's it.
The end of a dream.
I never met her again after that...
.
I'd still shag her though. 🙂
